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Married to a Pedophile: When the Abuse Continues

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Last week’s post caused quite a stir.  So many people resonated with this part of my story.  The emails have been pouring in saying, “If I didn’t know better, I would think I’m reading my own life’s story!”  That’s both wonderful and so very sad.  The sad part is that this abuse continues to be so prevalent in our society.  The wonderful part to me is that victims are beginning to get enough courage to speak out, and they’re being heard!

And, every time a victim of child sexual abuse speaks out there is one more step being taken towards healing.   A large part of my goal with this blog is to help victims of abuse to become “survivors of abuse”!  Just the word SURVIVOR equates with STRENGTH! *I hope that each of you will listen to the 6 minute video included in this paragraph.  It’s a powerful message of hope and healing!

Let’s continue on with my story.  After John left me and the girls, I had a multitude of worries, the first being, “How am I going to pay the mortgage?”  Other worries were along the same line.  “How will I pay for the utilities — gas, phone, electric, fuel oil?”  “How will my daughters go to college?”  “How, how, how?  Dear God, how can I do this alone?”  Going from a two family income to a one family income in the blink Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: When the Shockwaves Hit!!!

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If you’ve been following my story, you know that on March 17, 2007 there was a life-changing event that took place.  That was moving day! John Hinton made the decision to leave his wife and two daughters and move into a home with a son and daughter-in-law.  He also made the decision to cause a lot of pain!

Looking back seven years, almost eight years later, I don’t know how the girls and I survived.  I really don’t.  That was a hard, hard time in life for us.  I’m not saying it wasn’t difficult and painful for the rest of the family, but we were the ones who lived through this pain first-hand.  We were caught in the middle of this emotional mess, and it was far from an easy transition!

As I said in the last post, I was left holding that piece of paper given to me stating the terms of separation.  So, what did I do?  I did what probably most people would have done when in a total state of shock, panic, and denial.  Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: March 17 — The Walls Came Tumbling Down!

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How do you move on beyond a day like the most horrible Thanksgiving ever?  Truthfully, when you want to fight hard for your family, for the values you believe in, you sometimes just take the pain and move on.  And, that’s just what was done.  We went on and had Christmas with the entire family home.  But, it was much different this particular year.  It was quiet.  It was awkward.  It was lacking laughter and joy!  It was as though everyone was walking on eggshells not knowing what to do, not knowing what to say, and not knowing what to expect.  One thing we knew — we didn’t want a repeat of our Thanksgiving!

That particular week of Christmas is mostly a blur to me.  As a way to cope, we can trick our minds into not remembering horrible pain and heartache, and that is just what we did.  We didn’t allow ourselves to feel much of anything for fear of experiencing that horrible pain and brokenness once again.

The winter months were lonely.  I worked long hours — in fact, most nights I stayed at work very late not wanting to go home.  At this point in our lives, I was still shut down emotionally with John.  In fact, I didn’t even want to sit at the dinner table with him.  We spoke very few words to each other.  And, it was miserable — terribly miserable    Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: The Worst Thanksgiving Ever!

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Thanksgiving was always among my top three most favorite of all holidays, but there is one Thanksgiving that will forever be a total nightmare — a disaster — and the one that will always stand out as the absolute worst.

It was always our family tradition to have a time of “giving thanks” prior to eating our meal.  We would go around the table and say the things we were most thankful for, and then we would end with a prayer.  This is a beautiful tradition, I think, and one that brings a family closer together and helps us all to appreciate one another more.

However, there is one Thanksgiving that was horrid, and that is putting it mildly.  As you know by now, our marriage was far from thriving.  In fact, it was pretty evident that our marriage was crumbling.  So, this was going to be a sad Thanksgiving, and    Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: “He Pried Me Open Thousands of Times”

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If you’re visiting this blog chances are you are interested in something to do with child abuse — the definition, how to get help, how to report if abuse is going on, and how to find healing.  You are probably here, too, because you’ve begun reading my story of what it was like to live with a man for almost 40 years as he carried out horrible acts of crimes against children as he lived a double life.  Preacher, husband, beloved father by day — child molester to some of the most horrendous crimes of child abuse by night!

I don’t know if it’s the changing of the seasons, or knowing the impending “biggie holidays” are just around the corner, but there has been a wave of thoughts hitting me day and night for the past few weeks — nagging thoughts always ending with the question, “Is prison the right place for pedophiles?”

My unwavering answer is “YES”!      Continue reading →