As you’ve been traveling along on this journey with me, you know this path has not been an easy one. It took years and years for the truth about the double life my husband was living to come to light. And, when the truth was finally disclosed to me, there are no words to adequately explain the emotional trauma that followed.
Writing has been a bit healing for me since my son’s death. Healing because writing is an outlet — a way of releasing some of my heavy grief. Writing is a way for me to feel like I have some value and I just might be able to help someone even in my brokenness.
I’ve also been doing a lot of thinking lately. I’ve been asking myself the question, “What am I looking for when I feel lost, alone, and without hope?” “What kind of message am I seeking?” I know one thing — I love to hear a person’s voice! Continue reading
It’s difficult for me to imagine that so many others have lived a life very similar to mine! I find solace in knowing that I’m not alone, but I also find deep heartbreak knowing that abuse is still happening. It’s impossible for me to put into words how I feel about knowing for a fact that children continue to be sexually molested every day. There are times when I can’t sleep at all because that thought haunts me every minute I’m alive.
If you are new to this blog, I suggest you start here. This is quick reading, but I won’t promise you it will be easy reading. But, if you are interested in knowing how to keep your children safe from sexual predators — most likely people who you know — then you have found the right place.
In my last post I mentioned how I was now separated from my husband. And, when we separated he became even more of a shining star to his children, to his church, and to the community in which he was so well known. However, as I had the opportunity to step back and really look at him, I was beginning to see more than just odd behavior. I was seeing behavior that was bizarre and often frightening! Continue reading
Last week’s post caused quite a stir. So many people resonated with this part of my story. The emails have been pouring in saying, “If I didn’t know better, I would think I’m reading my own life’s story!” That’s both wonderful and so very sad. The sad part is that this abuse continues to be so prevalent in our society. The wonderful part to me is that victims are beginning to get enough courage to speak out, and they’re being heard!
And, every time a victim of child sexual abuse speaks out there is one more step being taken towards healing. A large part of my goal with this blog is to help victims of abuse to become “survivors of abuse”! Just the word SURVIVOR equates with STRENGTH! *I hope that each of you will listen to the 6 minute video included in this paragraph. It’s a powerful message of hope and healing!
Let’s continue on with my story. After John left me and the girls, I had a multitude of worries, the first being, “How am I going to pay the mortgage?” Other worries were along the same line. “How will I pay for the utilities — gas, phone, electric, fuel oil?” “How will my daughters go to college?” “How, how, how? Dear God, how can I do this alone?” Going from a two family income to a one family income in the blink Continue reading
If you’ve been following my story, you know that on March 17, 2007 there was a life-changing event that took place. That was moving day! John Hinton made the decision to leave his wife and two daughters and move into a home with a son and daughter-in-law. He also made the decision to cause a lot of pain!
Looking back seven years, almost eight years later, I don’t know how the girls and I survived. I really don’t. That was a hard, hard time in life for us. I’m not saying it wasn’t difficult and painful for the rest of the family, but we were the ones who lived through this pain first-hand. We were caught in the middle of this emotional mess, and it was far from an easy transition!
As I said in the last post, I was left holding that piece of paper given to me stating the terms of separation. So, what did I do? I did what probably most people would have done when in a total state of shock, panic, and denial. Continue reading