When I talk about being married almost forty years to a practicing pedophile, I say it with shame. I say those words with horror. I almost always have at least two very bad days of haunting dreams and lots of tears after I write a blog post. Why? Because there is still a part of me that agonizes over the fact that I was duped. I didn’t know the man I was married to for almost four decades! I grieve the fact that this man was so good at deceiving me and others that he got away with molesting children for all of those years!
If you are new to this blog, it’s important for you to begin here. It’s hard to start in the middle of a story and grasp the full impact — especially with a story that is as complicated as this one. As you are reading, take time to pause and allow the words to sink deep into your heart. What you are reading is not just hard to read, but it’s hard to believe.
And pedophiles are counting on just that — making it hard for you to believe that they could ever commit such horrendous acts! Continue reading
The conversation today was actually very deep and solemn and beautiful on many levels. We spoke of all of the pain in this world — especially the pain that comes to little children. We talked about ways we could help take better care of the children in our community. We were both sad that we felt as though we should be doing more, but didn’t know exactly what to do or how to do it.
And, then it happened.
I looked at the man with eyes that saw him as another pedophile and I knew I had to end the conversation. I knew that sick feeling that was overcoming me meant I had shared far too much of “me” with a man I hardly knew. I understood that feeling of betrayal and that complete lack of trust. How dare this man I hardly know enter into a conversation about my heart, my deep inner feelings, and my beliefs!
I felt betrayed! I felt physically ill. Suddenly I didn’t like this man and I wanted Continue reading
If you’ve been following my story, you know that on March 17, 2007 there was a life-changing event that took place. That was moving day! John Hinton made the decision to leave his wife and two daughters and move into a home with a son and daughter-in-law. He also made the decision to cause a lot of pain!
Looking back seven years, almost eight years later, I don’t know how the girls and I survived. I really don’t. That was a hard, hard time in life for us. I’m not saying it wasn’t difficult and painful for the rest of the family, but we were the ones who lived through this pain first-hand. We were caught in the middle of this emotional mess, and it was far from an easy transition!
As I said in the last post, I was left holding that piece of paper given to me stating the terms of separation. So, what did I do? I did what probably most people would have done when in a total state of shock, panic, and denial. Continue reading
This blog is about what it was like being married to a practicing pedophile for almost forty years — and not knowing it. Look at the signs with me — the red flags — that were there all of those years waving at me begging me to look inside. Get educated with me so that you can learn how to identify child predators before they stop grooming and close in on the child and molest. If you’re new to this blog, please start here.
By now our house was filled with children, and I loved it! I was so happy to be a mom that it was easy for me to get caught up in the wonderfulness of motherhood and push aside the lingering pain of so many years of odd happenings, hurtful experiences, and negligence that made up such a large part of our lives as husband and wife. Sadly, as the years clicked on, I could sense the separation between us growing wider Continue reading