Married to a Pedophile: A Personal Encounter With Survivors of Sexual Abuse

I’m back after a three month break while finishing up writing my book on finding hope after child loss.  If you know of anyone who has experienced the loss of a child, please  give them a copy of the book.  Part of our mission is to help people who are suffering, and this book will help any parent who is suffering the pain of child loss.

This weekend I had the blessing of attending a conference on child sexual abuse.  I wish I could say that it was enjoyable, but quite the contrary.  While at this conference, I had the opportunity to hear two survivors of child sexual abuse speak out and I must say that upon hearing what they endured as children, and what they are enduring now as adults, I could feel my heart literally breaking.

Child sexual abuse is a pain that no child deserves! To turn a deaf ear and do nothing is, in my opinion, a very grave sin!  Continue reading

Married to a Pedophile: “He Pried Me Open Thousands of Times”

If you’re visiting this blog chances are you are interested in something to do with child abuse — the definition, how to get help, how to report if abuse is going on, and how to find healing.  You are probably here, too, because you’ve begun reading my story of what it was like to live with a man for almost 40 years as he carried out horrible acts of crimes against children as he lived a double life.  Preacher, husband, beloved father by day — child molester to some of the most horrendous crimes of child abuse by night!

I don’t know if it’s the changing of the seasons, or knowing the impending “biggie holidays” are just around the corner, but there has been a wave of thoughts hitting me day and night for the past few weeks — nagging thoughts always ending with the question, “Is prison the right place for pedophiles?”

My unwavering answer is “YES”!      Continue reading

Married to a Pedophile: “Where Have You Been?”

“Where have you been?”  “What’s been going on?”  “Are you okay”  “Why haven’t you been writing?”  The questions have been pouring in and I’m finally slowing down enough to answer your questions.

I have been taking a break from the heavy stuff in life so that I could totally, completely, and wonderfully enjoy the marriages of two of my daughters.  Can you believe it?  Two marriages in less than four weeks!!!!  I cannot even begin to put into words how my heart felt as I watched my daughters — hearts so full of love and joy —  join hands and hearts forever with the men of their dreams.  My heart throbbed so hard that there were moments when I thought it would explode.  Our family has gone through so much sadness in the past three years that it was truly a God-given break away from the hard, heartbreaking stuff to see and feel and share so much joy!

If you are new to this blog, I would strongly urge you to begin reading here. It’s so important for you to understand why my joy is beyond measure right now!   Continue reading

Married to a Pedophile: Halloween Monsters in Church!

Every time Halloween rolls around, my thoughts go back to a special church service that took place in October about eleven years into my marriage.   I can truly say it’s one that I will never forget, nor will anyone that was sitting in the audience ever forget.  There are certain things that are burned into a person’s mind, and this is one of them.

Before I go further into the story, let me take this time to thank you for being here.  Thanks for reading, for following along, and for “getting it” about the seriousness of emotional and sexual abuse, child molestation, and how important it is to provide a means for those who have been used and abused to find a healing place.  If you are new to this blog, I strongly suggest that you begin here, and read each blog in chronological order because there is a progression from manipulation to molestation that is so important for you to understand.

Okay, back to this story. Continue reading

Married to a Pedohile: Studying the Bible with a Pedophile

Thanks so much once again for continuing to read, digest this information, share, and comment.  I truly believe that our voices are being heard and will ultimately make a difference.

Last week we took a side-step from the progressing story of the red flags that I should have seen during my almost forty years of being married to a pedophile.  The subject of manipulation and spousal abuse is a bigger one than I imagined and deserves its own special attention.  After reading so many of your comments, I am beginning to understand the magnitude of not just pedophilia, but of abuse in general.  It literally breaks my heart. I’m beginning to understand more and more the emotional turmoil of so many people in bad relationships.  This kind of pain – emotional and physical abuse – leaves scars that run deep.  Clear to the soul!

Let’s continue today with the story of my life living with a pedophile.  Sometimes the weeks went along uneventfully and there wasn’t much that seemed out of the ordinary.  Other times there were things that stuck out and caused so many questions – questions that never really had good answers.

One such question to John was this:  “Why you are driving over one hour to pick up two mentally disabled girls to have a Bible study with them?  They don’t understand much of anything you’re saying, and you know that!”  Continue reading