If you’re visiting this blog chances are you are interested in something to do with child abuse — the definition, how to get help, how to report if abuse is going on, and how to find healing. You are probably here, too, because you’ve begun reading my story of what it was like to live with a man for almost 40 years as he carried out horrible acts of crimes against children as he lived a double life. Preacher, husband, beloved father by day — child molester to some of the most horrendous crimes of child abuse by night!
I don’t know if it’s the changing of the seasons, or knowing the impending “biggie holidays” are just around the corner, but there has been a wave of thoughts hitting me day and night for the past few weeks — nagging thoughts always ending with the question, “Is prison the right place for pedophiles?”
My unwavering answer is “YES”! Already I know I’m going to get emails about forgiveness, God’s mercy, and how I must be willing to forgive if I want to enjoy healing. Let me preface this post by saying that this is not about forgiveness. This is about the hard, difficult to understand facts about pedophiles.
Like it or not, I have yet to find data to confirm that there are reformed pedophiles living among us. Oh, there might be a few here or there, but……what I’m reading and hearing is just the opposite. Pedophiles will always molest when given the opportunity of being around children! And, that is why I will continue to be thankful for laws that keep pedophiles in prison away from young children.
Today I was researching materials on how I can further my education to become a better community leader in the fight against child sexual abuse. In my research, I came across a video that is probably the single most powerful video I’ve seen yet containing testimonials from adults who were abused as children. They tell their stories with facts, poise, and confidence. They are in the process of healing, but they are raw in their definition of what the pain of child abuse was like and how difficult it is to live each day with the trauma left from this abuse.
Twenty minutes. That’s all I’m asking. Please watch this video that is twenty-two minutes long. Listen to former Miss America, Marilyn Van Derbur, tell her story of the thirteen years she endured of her father “prying her open.” She refuses to use the word “abuse” because she says it is too diluted. Too much of the real meaning of child sexual abuse is lost in using words that do not present true visuals.
*NOTE: If you are in a fragile state due to the trauma of child abuse, please use extreme caution when watching the video because it may cause triggers to occur that you’re not expecting.
It is NOT okay to sexually use or abuse children — ever! It is time to begin doing more to educate others about how to prevent child sexual abuse! It is never too late to speak out about your abuse. Why? Because there is healing and empowerment as you let go of the feelings of victim and cling ever so tightly to the word “survivor.”
Who is the molester? I’ll say it again and again. The molester is the person you love and trust. The molester is your beloved husband (as was true in my life). The molester is your minister, your child care worker, your cousin, your uncle, your father, your stepfather, your mother.
The molester can be anyone and 90% of the child victims know their abuser!
I lived most of my adult life with a man who molested children that entire time. He has never denied that. In fact, he has written letters from prison explaining with explicit details about how he got away with it. He does not cower in shame and remorse over his actions. He has not even begun to understand the amount of pain his actions have caused countless others. Instead, he uses his mind to work on ways to wear people down by saying, “You don’t understand God. You have no concept of forgiveness.”
I will say to that, “You have no concept of taking responsibility for your actions.” We tend to forget that the pedophile has choices; the young, innocent child does not!
Listen carefully to what the former Miss America says about her father at the very end of the video and you will understand more about why I believe prison is a 100% necessity for pedophiles. Read Ana Salter’s book and you will understand so much about the mind of a pedophile and how it works.
I will continue to share my story with you, and every now and then I will add an additional post such as this to give you some additional resources and reasons why we need to continue to work hard — every day — to protect our children!
Please continue to share this blog. That is the only way others are going to know about the information given here.
For those who need to reach me, my email address is: email@example.com . I am available to come speak to your group, and I will be working very hard in the next few months to get some additional helpful resources made available to you.
If you would like to make a guest blog post (and you can do so anonymously) please email me at the above email address for the guidelines.
Thank you so much for your help with the job at hand — protecting our innocent children!