Tag Archives: child sexual abuse

Married to a Pedophile: A Father of Abused Children Speaks Out

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Today’s post is a difficult one for me to write.  Really, really difficult.  Why?  Because a father whose children were abused by my former husband is the one telling his story.  When I first met Dave and heard him speak at a child abuse workshop, I sat stunned as I heard the words he spoke with such sincerity and passion.

I asked Dave if he would consider sharing his story here, and he didn’t hesitate one second!  I wept as I read what he shared.  I wept as I thought about his daughters.  I wept as I was once again reminded of the evil actions that were committed against these precious innocent children.    Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: “Why Don’t the Abused Tell?”

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It’s been a while since I’ve picked up with my story of being married to a practicing pedophile for almost forty years — without knowing it.  Just hearing the word pedophile pains me.  And, finding out that while I was sharing my heart and soul with the man I vowed to love for all the days of my life, while I was having a family with the man I wanted to be the father to my children, while I was giving my all to my marriage — while I sincerely loved this man — he was molesting children.   I cannot put into words how this has changed me.  I cannot explain the lack of trust I now have.  I cannot adequately choose the right words for the daily pain that has come into my life knowing that this man I loved clearly was causing pain and devastation to so many.  Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: Shame on You, Dottie Sandusky!

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At first I sympathized with Dottie Sandusky.  I, too, walked in her shoes.  The man I loved and trusted and shared my life with was living a double life.  The man I married was a pedophile, too, and on some level I connected with Dottie Sandusky.  I cried for her when her husband was arrested.  I cried for her when she learned the truth about the man she loved.  I cried for her because I thought she would stay awake at night crying for the victims who were harmed by her husband.  I cried for her because I knew how hard it is to realize that your life has been a lie.  I cried for her because I thought she shared the same brokenness that I feel every day of my life for those whose lives have been tormented and shamed and pained in terrible ways by the man I loved.

But, I will not cry for Dottie Sandusky any more!  Shame on you!  Shame on you, Dottie Sandusky!  How can you do this?  How can you continue to defend this man?  How can you defend this man who sits in prison for committing horrendous acts against children?   How can you do this, Dottie Sandusky?  Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: “He Pried Me Open Thousands of Times”

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If you’re visiting this blog chances are you are interested in something to do with child abuse — the definition, how to get help, how to report if abuse is going on, and how to find healing.  You are probably here, too, because you’ve begun reading my story of what it was like to live with a man for almost 40 years as he carried out horrible acts of crimes against children as he lived a double life.  Preacher, husband, beloved father by day — child molester to some of the most horrendous crimes of child abuse by night!

I don’t know if it’s the changing of the seasons, or knowing the impending “biggie holidays” are just around the corner, but there has been a wave of thoughts hitting me day and night for the past few weeks — nagging thoughts always ending with the question, “Is prison the right place for pedophiles?”

My unwavering answer is “YES”!      Continue reading →