At first I sympathized with Dottie Sandusky. I, too, walked in her shoes. The man I loved and trusted and shared my life with was living a double life. The man I married was a pedophile, too, and on some level I connected with Dottie Sandusky. I cried for her when her husband was arrested. I cried for her when she learned the truth about the man she loved. I cried for her because I thought she would stay awake at night crying for the victims who were harmed by her husband. I cried for her because I knew how hard it is to realize that your life has been a lie. I cried for her because I thought she shared the same brokenness that I feel every day of my life for those whose lives have been tormented and shamed and pained in terrible ways by the man I loved.
But, I will not cry for Dottie Sandusky any more! Shame on you! Shame on you, Dottie Sandusky! How can you do this? How can you continue to defend this man? How can you defend this man who sits in prison for committing horrendous acts against children? How can you do this, Dottie Sandusky? Continue reading
As I watched the interview of Dottie Sandusky for the fourth time, my anger began to diminish and I began feeling so sorry for her. I listened to her every word. I listened as she stumbled through tears to try so hard to convince Matt Lauer of her husband’s innocence. She cried saying she was strong. She said she never called those who came forward with their stories liars. But she did. She said she didn’t see anything wrong with Jerry showering with teenage boys, tickling them, and soaping them up. But, she hesitated at the very end when she said *maybe* there could have been something inappropriate.
Dottie Sandusky is the perfect molester’s wife, just as I was! Dottie is sitting in the chair that I was sitting in many, many years ago when I didn’t know the truth about my husband. She loves her husband and she believes whatever he tells her. She believes him because it’s just too painful, too unreal, too out of the realm of her innocent beliefs to think otherwise.
Jerry Sandusky chose the perfect wife! She took in foster kids. She stood by her husband’s side while he received accolades for all of the wonderful help he gave to underprivileged kids. She is a God-fearing, loving, faithful wife, but….. Continue reading
I can remember the night so well. We hadn’t spoken in several days. He was too busy, away, or was too tired. I was a stay-at-home mom with a house full of kids all ages and stages and I wanted some time alone with my husband. So, for the hundredth time I asked him, “Can you give me some time tonight?” And, for the hundredth time I got a blank stare kind of like the one that translates, “I have no clue what you’re talking about, but I’ll go through this routine again to get you off my case.”
As I waited for him to come upstairs from his office, I was nervous. I didn’t know exactly what I was going to say, but I knew I had come to the end of the rope. I couldn’t go on living like this. We weren’t a couple. We were two people living in the same house with a bunch of kids. The kids were driving me nuts — there were too many of them for me to take care of 24/7 by myself. I was depleted. I felt stretched to the limit. By now, I had seven kids in ten years (not to mention the miscarriages) and I needed the help of a husband. I wanted a companion. I wanted my soul mate!
But, he wasn’t around. And, when he was home physically, he was absent emotionally. Something was wrong and it needed to be fixed! Continue reading