Married to a Pedophile: “Facing the Holidays with Abuse”

It’s been a while since I’ve written, but I certainly have not forgotten you.  In all honesty, I’ve been taking care of myself following the sudden loss of my son. There are days when my heart feels so heavy that I don’t want to move.  But, there are also those days that are blessed with new hope and smiles, and I am most thankful for those days.

I thought it would be appropriate to get back to my story of living with a practicing pedophile so that we can continue to understand a bit more of the mind of a predator, as well to understand much more about what happens to those whose lives are touched by the actions of a predator.                  Continue reading

Married to a Pedophile: “What Messages Do You Want to Hear from Me?”

Writing has been a bit healing for me since my son’s death.  Healing because writing is an outlet — a way of releasing some of my heavy grief.  Writing is a way for me to feel like I have some value and I just might be able to help someone even in my brokenness.

I’ve also been doing a lot of thinking lately.  I’ve been asking myself the question, “What am I looking for when I feel lost, alone, and without hope?”  “What kind of message am I seeking?”  I know one thing — I love to hear a person’s voice!  Continue reading

Married to a Pedophile: “A Father’s Response from Prison about the Death of His Son”

Before I even begin to write to you today, I want to say thank you from the depths of my heart for all of the prayers, kind thoughts, and condolences sent to me following the sudden, unexpected death of my son. You have no idea what your expressions of love have meant to me.

Finding out my husband of almost forty years was a practicing pedophile caused literal pain to my heart — the kind of pain that hurts with every breath you take.  But, that pain has been nothing when compared to the pain of losing a child.  I can’t explain it — I can only say that all other pain I’ve had in my life so far pales in comparison to the daily Continue reading

Married to a Pedophile: “What Happens When Dad is Missing?”

Thank you so very much for all of the many comforting words following the sudden, unexpected death of my oldest son, Mike.  Your words have been like a healing salve to a wounded, hurting soul.  As a family, we’ve suffered some mighty big blows to the heart in the past five years, but nothing to compare to the death of my son.

When John was incarcerated for crimes of child molestation, our family dynamics changed immediately.  Without ever saying a word, Mike stepped up to the plate, and became a surrogate father, of sorts.  He was the oldest son — not an easy position Continue reading