Tag Archives: Clara Hinton

Married to a Pedophile: The Worst Thanksgiving Ever!

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Thanksgiving was always among my top three most favorite of all holidays, but there is one Thanksgiving that will forever be a total nightmare — a disaster — and the one that will always stand out as the absolute worst.

It was always our family tradition to have a time of “giving thanks” prior to eating our meal.  We would go around the table and say the things we were most thankful for, and then we would end with a prayer.  This is a beautiful tradition, I think, and one that brings a family closer together and helps us all to appreciate one another more.

However, there is one Thanksgiving that was horrid, and that is putting it mildly.  As you know by now, our marriage was far from thriving.  In fact, it was pretty evident that our marriage was crumbling.  So, this was going to be a sad Thanksgiving, and    Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: “He Pried Me Open Thousands of Times”

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If you’re visiting this blog chances are you are interested in something to do with child abuse — the definition, how to get help, how to report if abuse is going on, and how to find healing.  You are probably here, too, because you’ve begun reading my story of what it was like to live with a man for almost 40 years as he carried out horrible acts of crimes against children as he lived a double life.  Preacher, husband, beloved father by day — child molester to some of the most horrendous crimes of child abuse by night!

I don’t know if it’s the changing of the seasons, or knowing the impending “biggie holidays” are just around the corner, but there has been a wave of thoughts hitting me day and night for the past few weeks — nagging thoughts always ending with the question, “Is prison the right place for pedophiles?”

My unwavering answer is “YES”!      Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: It’s Always about Control!

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It’s been a while since I’ve written and I apologize for that.  I’ve been super busy and to tell you the truth writing the last post threw me into a mental fog for a good two weeks.  I suffered with nightmares, cold sweats, and went through several nights of not being able to sleep.  Remembering is not easy — not when you’re remembering painful events in your life.

If you’re new to this blog, please begin reading from the very beginning.  It’s so important for you to grasp just how devious and calculating the actions of pedophiles are.  As I recall more events in my life while married to a pedophile, I shake and tremble because I didn’t see life clearly.  Pain has a way of masking the truth Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: One Word that Changed My Life!

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If you are new to this blog then I strongly suggest you begin reading here so that you can understand the full impact of how the mind of a pedophile works.  One of the most important things to remember is that pedophiles live in a total fantasy world and their world is built on lies.  There are days when I sit and stare blankly for hours at a time shaking my head wondering how I fell for so many lies for all of those years when I was married to John.  I’d like to think that I’m fairly intelligent and I used to pride myself on being able to see through the lies and deceit of people.

No longer do I think I’m so smart.  In fact, just the opposite.  I was living with a man and was totally devoted to him while he was lying, cheating, and deceiving me every day of my life.  There are times when I cry for hours wondering if he ever truly loved me.  We had children together and I thought those children were products of our sincere love.  Now……I doubt every bit of that.  I now believe I served only one purpose.   I was selfishly and maliciously used by this man I loved with all of my heart.  I was used to  Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: The “Coming Out” of a Pedophile!

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The last two posts written have caused quite a stir among our regular readers as well as many new readers.  Most of the private emails I receive are asking, “Why did you stay in this marriage if it was so terrible?  Even if you didn’t know you were married to an active pedophile, why did you stay?”

I’ll repeat this again and again.  When abuse takes place a person doesn’t feel worthy of anything different than abuse.  There is a brainwashing, so-to-speak, that teaches the abused person to accept mistreatment because that is what is deserved.  There is also great fear of leaving.  In my case, how in the world would I support my family if I left?  What would happen to the children that I loved with all of my heart and soul?  Where would we live?  There is also the self-imposed prison that holds the abused person captive.  Years of abuse wears away any self-esteem and there is a powerlessness — a feeling of being too weak to escape.  And, many times there is little to no support to help the abused person get away.  And, so we stay….we stay until…….   Continue reading →