Author Archives: Clara Hinton

Married to a Pedophile: The “Coming Out” of a Pedophile!

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The last two posts written have caused quite a stir among our regular readers as well as many new readers.  Most of the private emails I receive are asking, “Why did you stay in this marriage if it was so terrible?  Even if you didn’t know you were married to an active pedophile, why did you stay?”

I’ll repeat this again and again.  When abuse takes place a person doesn’t feel worthy of anything different than abuse.  There is a brainwashing, so-to-speak, that teaches the abused person to accept mistreatment because that is what is deserved.  There is also great fear of leaving.  In my case, how in the world would I support my family if I left?  What would happen to the children that I loved with all of my heart and soul?  Where would we live?  There is also the self-imposed prison that holds the abused person captive.  Years of abuse wears away any self-esteem and there is a powerlessness — a feeling of being too weak to escape.  And, many times there is little to no support to help the abused person get away.  And, so we stay….we stay until…….   Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: Should Pedophiles Be Allowed in Church With Children?

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The question comes up frequently, “What do you do with the pedophile who has repented?  He’s served his time in prison, paid his dues, said he’s sorry, has asked for forgiveness.  What is the responsibility of Christians?”

That’s a great question!  We do we do?  What do we do as families?  Welcome these people back with open arms and open hearts?  Do we forgive and forget?  Do we take the pedophile at his word  and never question him again?  Do we hold this person to some kind of accountability?  If so, what should that accountability be?

This isn’t an easy subject, and it’s certainly one that I wouldn’t have tackled on my own.  However, it’s a question that deserves our attention.  You might disagree with what I’m going to say.  You might even get a bit angry with me.  That’s okay.  The information I’m going to share is written from the son of a pedophile who is also a minister.  He spares nothing in talking about this, so I’ll forewarn you that this is difficult to read.      Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: More Trouble — Federal Indictment!

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When I got married, I thought I knew how my life would unfold.  Love.  Marriage.  Children.  Country home.  Gardening.  Sewing clothes.  Cooking lots of great food.  Church and at home bible studies.  Seeing kids through school then off to college.  Graduations.  Weddings.  Grandbabies.  And, finally full circle back to living with the love of my life, John, enjoying our golden years together for the remainder of our lives.

Sometimes life doesn’t work out as planned.  Mine sure didn’t!  If you’ve been reading this blog, you already  know the last part of my life has certainly been different — far, far from what my dream life was like! Even though I didn’t know at the time I was married to a practicing pedophile, there were problems in our marriage that were huge red flags.  If only I had known!  Please take a moment and start here to catch my story from the beginning.  I think it’s important for you to see how this all unfolded.         Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: Bars, Mice, and Women!

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This blog is about what it was like being married to a practicing pedophile for almost forty years — and not knowing it.  Look at the signs with me — the red flags — that were there all of those years waving at me begging me to look inside.  Get educated with me so that you can learn how to identify child predators before they stop grooming and close in on the child and molest.  If you’re new to this blog, please start here.

By now our house was filled with children, and I loved it!  I was so happy to be a mom that it was easy for me to get caught up in the wonderfulness of motherhood and push aside the lingering pain of so many years of odd happenings, hurtful experiences, and negligence that made up such a large part of our lives as husband and wife.  Sadly, as the years clicked on, I could sense the separation between us growing wider   Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: “I’m So Sorry. I Really Do Love You!”

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Every woman wants to be loved.  That is a fact.  I’m not talking about just the physical act of love, but women want “relationships.”  Women want to know that they are loved by one man and that he is hers exclusively. Women respond to the word love — even when it’s not spoken.  Sometimes just holding a woman’s hand is enough to make her feel genuinely loved.  Women are emotionally wired to crave love!

And, when we crave a love relationship, we are blinded to the truth.

And, as I look back over my married life, I was no different.  I craved love, too.    Continue reading →