Married to a Pedophile: The Dale Carnegie Course

Sometimes you just know…..you know something is wrong, but you don’t know what it is!  That’s how I felt for most of my married life.  I knew there was something really big that was wrong, but I could never put my finger on it.  I just couldn’t figure it out.  And, at times that about drove me crazy!

If you’re new to this blog, please start here so that you get the complete details of my story.  I was married to one man for almost forty years.  He was the love of my life — the one I prayed for God to send me.  And, when we exchanged our vows, I intended for that to be forever.

Sadly, life doesn’t always turn out how we’d like.  What I didn’t know finally came to light in a most horrible way almost forty years into our marriage.      Continue reading

Married to a Pedophile: What Does It Feel Like?

Thanks so much for visiting this blog and a very special thank you for so many who continue to refer others to read this blog.  I really and truly feel like lives are being changed as we educate others on this highly sensitive topic of pedophilia as well as emotional abuse and manipulation.

If you’re new to this blog, I’d suggest you begin reading my story here.  For almost forty years I was married to a preacher and the father of my eleven children.  This man who I loved with all of my heart was also someone I didn’t know.  Much to my horror, he was also a practicing pedophile who molested children for almost fifty years.

My heart is broken.

When I found out that this man I lived with, ate meals with, worshipped God with, vacationed with, shared intimate times with, had children with was also a man who lied, manipulated, controlled, and molested children my life was forever changed.

Today was one of those “off” days — the kind where you just wish you could stay in bed.  I know we all have them.  Maybe it was the weather, or maybe just weariness of mind, body, and spirit.  A bright spot of  the day, though, was being a guest speaker at Allegany College of Maryland.  My topic was “An Introduction to Grief:  How Do We Climb Out of the Pit?”.

allegany college

I don’t know why, but I felt the need to have a family member with me, so I invited my son Jimmy.  And, I was so glad that he said he’d go with me!  We had two hours to talk together while driving to and from the college — something we’ve not had time to do in a long, long time.

We talked about the usual everyday things of life, and then the tone shifted.  We were quiet for a few minutes, and then…………….

“Why, Jimmy?  Why do you think dad did these things?  Continue reading