Thousands of you are viewing this blog, and you’re asking me every day, “How can I help?” “I want to do something to keep children safe, but I don’t know where to begin.”
Well, I have a place where your voice can definitely make a difference! Rather than write my normal blog story right now, I feel and urgency to get this information to you today! Our help is needed and each of us can truly make a difference!
We know that one of the reasons victims don’t speak out is because they’re afraid that when they do there won’t be help for them. They fear not being believed. They fear that people will turn a deaf ear. And, they fear they’ll be made to feel like it was their fault.
Another reason why victims often don’t speak up soon is because they’ve blocked this trauma in the back of their minds as a form of survival. Imagine being a small child and having someone come into your room in the middle of night, breathing heavy and pushing his body against yours as he begins using your innocent body for his selfish desires. Can you imagine the fear? Can you imagine the confusion? Can you imagine the loneliness? Can you imagine the pain and horror of it all?
As difficult as it is, close your eyes and become a child for a moment and imagine what that must be like and then maybe — just maybe — you’ll understand how the child tries everything humanly possible to push this trauma to the very depths of the mind where it cannot be reached in order for survival.
The only thing wrong is that eventually this pain surfaces and then there is a nightmarish hell that begins all over again as the child who has now become an adult begins to remember the horrors of the past. At this point, many adults’ minds open up and it’s like reading the pages in a book. They begin to see vividly what happened to them and they begin to “remember it all.”
This is the time when many victims become survivors and they speak out and want to hold their molester accountable for the horrible wrongs done to them. But, many states have weak laws on the books — laws that have a statue of limitations of 5 years — not even long enough for the majority of victims to have time to process their personal trauma and begin to deal with it.
Here is where “YOU” come in! There is an opportunity for you to help change the law in the state of Indiana where the statute of limitations is only 5 years! At the time of this writing, only 548 more signatures are needed on the petition. Please, please take this opportunity to make your voice count by signing the petition to change this law!
This will take you less than three minutes to read and sign. Won’t you do that — for the children? Won’t you step out and make your voice be known? Together we are making a difference. We must allow our victims to have enough time to come forward and identify their molesters! We must allow our victims to be given the time they need to heal and become survivors.
Please help! I’d love us to be part of the change needed in the state of Indiana! For the children, let’s do it! Please let your voice be heard!
Love,
Clara
PS If you have not yet watched my son’s workshop video on how to keep our children safe from predators, then I would encourage you to do so now. Please forward this on to anyone who works with children — teachers, preachers, youth leaders, daycare workers, baby sitters, parents, grandparents, doctors, nurses…..everyone needs to see what is in this workshop video spoken from the heart of the “son of a pedophile.”
Thank you for your love and your concern!
I can’t believe that the SOL is 5yrs. This must be changed to a minimum of 20 years, if not indefinitely. I recently learned about my husband of 45 years sexual abuse of my younger sisters. It has totally torn my family apart. I told our children and was told to be careful of who I tell this to because of mandatory reporting. I can’t believe they want this predator protected. Our children all have little daughters. Now they are not speaking to me because of the the problems that I caused. We do need to speak up to protect the children. As a side note I was also sexually abused by my brothers and know the pain it causes. We need to end this horrific crime.
Dear Countrygal,
You’ve brought up so much in this post! Yes, the SOL does need to be changed and it should be across the board in every state — at least a minimum of 25 years, I’d say. I’d rather have it indefinitely!
I’m so very sorry that your family is so divided. I’ve found that a lot of people would much rather keep things “hush-hush” than to deal with the issues at hand because of the embarrassment, the shame, and the thought that we should let bygones be bygones. How sad to me to hear of yet more who are willing to protect the molester in order to protect themselves from embarrassment.
You are a hero in my book for speaking up and being an advocate for the children. I’m so sorry to hear that you were molested by your brothers. I hope you will seek out counseling and support for your current family crisis as well as for dealing with your past pain from abuse. Keep reminding yourself that you did the right thing telling your children about your husband. How sad that they are willing to allow their children to be in his presence knowing his past behavior.
Thank you for helping to raise awareness, Clara. We all play key rolls in changing the world and you are making the greatest difference not just in raising awareness but in helping others. Hugs!
Kerrie, Thank you! I consider all of us as part of a “team” and together we are creating a very, very strong voice for children of abuse. This is one arena where so much change is needed as soon as possible. It’s exciting for me to see us gaining momentum!
A special thank you to YOU for being a voice that is heard around the world!!!! I’m so glad our paths have crossed!
Clara,
Thank you for bringing more attention to this! I am motivated to look into the laws of my state/county and see that the SOL in sexual crimes is. If it is low (like this 5 year one) I will start a petition to change the law.
Again, thank you for all the work you are doing.
Flynn,
Thank YOU for looking into this! If you do start a petition to change the law, please let me know and we can easily announce it on here, too, if you’d like! We really are making a difference — one step at a time!
Thank you for making the initiative to check on this and to take action!
Do you have to be a resident of Indiana?
Lindsey,
No, you don’t have to be a resident of Indiana. I signed the petition and it asks what state you’re from. We are each given a voice to speak to the governor there as well as to legislators. It’s a wonderful way to let our voices be heard on behalf of those who have been victimized. Every state has different statute of limitations. My prayer is this will be changed sooner than later.
I just signed. I am sure I was molested by my step-grandfather as a young girl (from the ages 6 or 7, to 12). There is lots of circumstantial evidence I can think of, but I don’t remember it. And I’m 60!
One of my younger brothers was raped repeatedly by my first boyfriend (obviously, I had no idea) from the ages of 10 to 13. But he had blocked those three years completely from his memory, and only started to remember 25 years later, when he was 35. He hasn’t told anybody but me (that was in 1995), and I don’t think he went to the police with it.
I think it messed up his whole life. He is a mess, with two failed marriages, and just barely hanging on.
Karin,
Thank you for signing!!! Honestly, when I signed it made me feel so good — like I was finally able to do something that mattered!
I’m so very sorry about you and your brother. You are both prime examples of what happens when trauma causes memory loss. Lots of victims don’t want to ever remember because of the pain that surfaces when they do. Others such as your brother have the memories come (even if unwanted) and are haunted in a most horrible way. And, it does mess up your life. How could it not? That’s why these molesters need to be stopped and gotten off of the streets. I’m so very sorry to hear this. I wish your brother would consider counseling by a qualified abuse counselor. Sometimes it takes years of counseling to get help — other times it’s only months. I’m praying he’ll give counseling a try so that he can be freed from this torment.