You’ve been hearing from me, the former wife of a pedophile, for several months now. I’ve been telling my story about what it was like being married to a practicing pedophile and not finding out about this “dark side” until after almost forty years of marriage.
I will continue to tell my story and expose more and more of the “red flags” that were present in our marriage from the very day we were married. This is a difficult thing to talk about — certainly not a pleasurable topic — but the message must get out if we are going to halt these molesters and do all that we can to keep our children safe.
But, what about my children? They’ve suffered untold grief since finding this out about their dad. They respected him above anyone else on earth. He was the father that they were so very proud of — the one that other kids envied. And, now….he sits in prison for the remainder of his days as a punishment for crimes he committed against many, many children.
My son Jimmy has the very unique position in our family of being the sixth child — making him a middle child. He also is a minister, but not just any minister. He is serving at the very same church where his dad served for over thirty years. On top of that, Jimmy is the one I went to first when one of John’s victims came to me. I didn’t know who to turn to when this horror was revealed to me. I have questioned myself a million times over wondering how a mother could have placed so much pain on the heart of her son. Jimmy knows how much I will always struggle with this.
When John found out that he was under investigation, a strange turn of events came about within minutes of the police visiting him. John called Jimmy and said, “We have to talk.” It was during this father and son talk that John revealed who he was to Jimmy.
How much pain could a son’s heart be expected to handle? I will grieve the fact that Jimmy had to hear words from his father that no child should ever have to hear! I will grieve this until the day I go to my grave. Jimmy has had layer upon layer of pain placed on his heart — and yet — he is standing tall and he continues to honor God in all that he says and does.
Jimmy has held workshops on pedophilia and how to keep our children safe ever since his dad went to prison. His heart has been filled with a passion to help educate those who are in positions where they come in contact with children on a daily basis. He has put in hundreds of hours reading and studying so that he can present true, factual information.
Below you will find a video in its completion of the second annual workshop of child abuse that Jimmy has conducted. Part I is Jimmy speaking, and Part II Jimmy brings in a guest, Les Ferguson, who also has a powerful story to share about child abuse.
The video is long, but you can watch it in segments. Believe me, it’s worth every minute of your time! And, I can assure you that you will learn more than you ever dreamed possible! Please watch the video and share it with your church leaders, daycares, schools, and parent organizations. Share it with anyone you know who has an interest in keeping our children safe!
Thank you so much for watching. Thank you so much for caring. Thank you so much for sharing.
Most of all, thank you so much for doing all you can to keep our children safe!
Love,
Clara
PS This video can also be found on Jimmy’s blog, as well as on the resources page of this site.
People are so easily “fooled”in a church or school setting. When i was a younger woman,we got a new minister. I just couldnt warm up to him. Personality plus,always wanting to “really”hug the women. People were so “fooled”by him. My friends said i had “preacher itis”&just wanted our old minister back. I had searched my heart&knew it wasnt true. He also drove a school bus. He ended up having affairs w/2 women@once,in the school that he worked at. If it doesnt feel right,its “not”right! Good thing he wasnt “after children”!.PAY ATTENTIIN PEOPLE!!!
Vicki, Amen to all that you’ve said!!!! I cannot emphasize enough of paying attention to that “gut feeling” we get when around people. Most often, if it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t!
Thank you for this post! I’ve been following this series, and it breaks my heart; at the same time, I appreciate the tips and advice given to spot abusers.
This just came up, and I thought it might be of interest.
http://www.change.org/petitions/gov-mike-pence-eliminate-the-5-year-statute-of-limitations-on-sexual-assault-in-indiana?share_id=SOEvRmBtdx&utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=share_petition
Flynn,
Thank you so very much for sending me this link! I’m going to write a blog specifically for this tonight in hopes that we can collect more signatures. At this time of reading they only have 358 signatures. I’d like to see us make our voices be heard!
Again, thanks so much for bringing this opportunity to my attention!
What a very very informative video. Churches need to wake up.
Barry, Thank you for watching the video! You’re so very right!!! Churches are at the top of the list of those who need to wake up and heed the call. There is a lot of work that needs to be done. We’re falling far short in this area, but but educating ourselves that can change. Again, thank you for watching and commenting.
Thank you for posting the video. I’m encouraged by the hundreds who have already watched and are taking drastic steps to protect their children.
Jimmy, Thank YOU for all of the work that went into presenting this workshop! The information is invaluable. I know God is blessing this effort!!!!
Thank you, Team Hinton! I was hoping Jimmy would be able to post this, since I missed the live session. I appreciate your work.
Dear Tired Mom,
You’re most welcome! Please, please use this information and pass it on to others who will benefit. We’re trying to come up with a template letter to send to our legislators to put stronger laws into place for protecting our children. Also, work is being done on creating a template for a “safety policy” to put into place that will help keep our children safe from these horrific crimes of molestation. Pray for us as we continue to work hard to keep our children safe!
Thank you–I will! Your work has been so helpful, and so many people are still in the dark about abuse.
I had a question for both of you. Have either of you heard of a person who sexually abuses just one person? I realize many men have more than one victim. …have you actually heard of any men having just one?
Tired Mom,
I will send this question to Jimmy so that he can also answer, too. That being said I have only read accounts in newspapers where molesters have gotten caught molesting just “one victim.” In everything I’ve read (and that includes many, many interviews with the actual abusers) I’ve never heard of only “one victim.” Unfortunately, abusers seem to be “addicted” to molesting and therefore their appetite is always searching for more.
I will dig deeper into this question, though. I do know that abusers can have “favorites.”