The last post I wrote was powerful. It was also sad and heart wrenching. It brought me and thousands of others to tears as we read the words of a father speak out about how his children were abused by the man I called my husband for almost forty years. I haven’t slept a night through since this story was published. Why? Because I still find it so dehumanizing to think of what pedophiles do to children, and it is heartbreaking to me to know that this type of abuse goes on day after day while good, honest, caring parents are unable to recognize the abuse. We must get better educated! How are parents who are very involved in their children’s lives unable to recognize child sexual abuse in their own children? Why don’t children tell? Why can’t a parent recognize the behavior of an abused child? Why can’t others recognize signs of abuse in a child?
Please read these comments from the father of some of the many children John Hinton abused. Read his comments, then read them again and again until you grasp the way pedophiles work.
Note: I have not changed anything that Dave has written. These are his words spoken from his life and from his heart. May God bless this man for having the willingness and the courage to speak out on behalf of all children!
“Every Sunday as we went to church, the routine was the same. As soon as we walked through the church doors my children would ask, ‘Where’s John?’. If John was there, they would run to him. Yes, I said that right. They would RUN to him, and he would bend down and pick up one of the girls. Church members thought that was just so sweet. There were so many red flags at this point. If only I knew how these predators worked at that time!
John took advantage of our ignorance and our brokenness and used it to his advantage. You see, the biggest threat to those who want to do our children harm is education. We must learn how they work, manipulate and groom! That is why I support Church Protect and what they do. I didn’t know how child predators worked and my family paid a very dear price. You don’t have to go through what my family and I did. Protect yourself and your children. GET EDUCATED! This is why I tell my story. Child sex abuse is preventable!
There came a point where John told me that he lost his job as a babysitter. If it was true or not, I don’t know. He would begin to say things to me like, ‘I don’t have any food. I don’t know how I’m going to take the kids swimming. I don’t have any gas in the car.’ Now, being a single parent with 5 children I didn’t have a lot of money, but I gave money to him anyway. Why? Because my kids had fun with John and I didn’t want to disappoint them.
Not only did John abuse my children, but he was also mentally abusing me and I didn’t even know it! I even sold my Harley at this point. I didn’t get to ride it much, and we really needed the money. I gave John a pretty big amount of money from that sale, which in turn he would take my money and use it to buy gifts for my children to keep them quiet about the abuse. I can’t even begin to tell you how that makes me feel. John used me to help fund his perversion on my own children! Child predators are heartless, selfish individuals, and they don’t care who they have to hurt as long as they get the chance to abuse!
As my mentor, John had me right where he wanted me. When I would tell John that my kids weren’t allowed to go swimming or shopping because I had grounded them for some type of misbehavior, John would say, ‘Brother, I think you’re making a big mistake. Let me take them and you can have some quiet time. You’re very stressed and you’re making bad parenting decisions.’ Then he would tell me how he handled situations when his children misbehaved. He made me believe that I was being too hard on my kids, and I believed him! John had me second guessing my every decision I ever made — not just about parenting, but about everything in my life.
I could go on and on with story after story about John Hinton and his sick, twisted games he played with me and my family. Even after John’s arrest he blamed everybody else but himself. He wrote me letters from prison asking forgiveness, and also asking for pictures of my children all while asking for leniency. He wanted to get out of prison, come to my house, put my children on his lap and tell them it wasn’t their fault he abused them.
Luckily, at this time my children were in counseling and as you could expect, my kids weren’t leaving my sight. I was told it would be good if I would get some counseling, too. I was placed in the same room as my kids just at different ends of the room. I wouldn’t have it any other way! So, now I started learning how child predators work. As the counselor started talking, it was like she was reading my book. I felt so sick that the room started spinning. How could I have been so stupid?!?
Through counseling, I finally began to see through John Hinton’s manipulation and I could now see why he chose me and my children. Never will I ever allow John to see my kids or a picture of my kids!
I never wrote him in prison even though he wrote me quite frequently. I would get sick when I looked in the mail box and saw a letter from John. You see he was still abusing me mentally through letters. I had to call the prison and talk to the security officer. I told him who I was and that I wanted John Hinton to stop writing me! I understand now how these predators work, and I had to put a final stop to it. I stood up to John! And, it felt good! I’m not as bad a person as he said I was. The effects of abuse are long- lasting and life altering.
Our lives are forever changed.
Please get educated! Learn all that you can. Don’t let this happen to you or your family. Today you are a voice for those who have no voice. It’s time to break the silence of abuse! ”
Do you understand a bit more how these child predators work? Can you see the mind games they play? Do you see how they choose a parent who will give them their total trust AND finally give them their very own innocent child?
Child predators are very well educated about how to manipulate others. They understand vulnerability, and they know just who to prey upon.
I stand united with this father and will shout it from the rooftops! We must be ten steps ahead of the predator and the only way we can do this is by getting educated about how these molesters work!
Please visit Church Protect. This safe place has been created for you to help you keep your children safe. As this father said so beautifully, “Please get educated. Learn all you can. Don’t let this happen to you or your family. You are a voice for those who have no voice. It’s time to break the silent of abuse!”
Thank you, Dave, for your willingness to speak out. You have helped so many, I am sure! And, thank you to all who take this seriously and who continue to fight this battle.
Together we can be a unified, strong voice. With proper education we can stop this cycle of abuse on our precious children. The time to do it is now!
Love,
Clara Hinton
If you are interested in learning more, please email me at clarahintonspeaker@gmail.com or get in touch with Jimmy Hinton at Church Protect.
My story is unfortunately one of many. However I can share with you that child molestors are in deed masters of manipulation, deceit and lying. With my ex- son in law it became quickly apparent that he was on the defense always.He felt threatened by any old friendships my daughter had from school.Pushing our family away as well. Moving from one church from another. Hard time staying in one job. Always on the move!!! Now looking back he was alwsys covering his tracks from his continuous lies. He was very charismatic Critical of others, poor eye contact, and avoiding any questions about his family or his personal past. His family lived over seas and he seldom went to see them or invited them over to see him and my daughter and her two children. Abusers like to isolate, control, and subdue their victims into submission by favors at the start and than hold them down by shame, blame, and threats. They are cowards, predators of the worse kinds assaulting the innocence and trust of innocent trusting children. Leaving behind such brokeness of body, mind and spirit!! These predators fear exposure!!!! They can look you in the face and act like your best friend to you and turn around and abuse your child. Justifying in their own sick minds it’s not that bad of a thing. They really can’t see past their sin, lust, desires,darkness and sick perversion. So forget trying to have a rational conversation with them.They will deny it and down play it!!!! Unless they are legally convicted,the judicial system protects them,uder the slander law!!! You know how hard it is to get these creeps behind bars. Google up child predators in your area!!! That’s just the ones on the radar!! Thousands are free to roam off the list!! It really has become a global epidemic!!!! We need the change on a judicial level!!!!!!! Educate yes and provide a safe platform for victims to come to and tell on their abusers!!!! They are the only ones who can push these perverts through our court doors and help save others from these sexual predators!!!! If your child becomes anxious, scared, nightmares, clinging, crying at intervals for no apparent reason, losing interest in things that use to make them happy. Don’t write it off as terrible two’s,a family going through changes such as divorce ect. Listen to your gut and heart instinct!!! We hired a PI out of desperation to find out just who our daughter married. My daughter was lost in her husbands translation!! We knew something was wrong but never in our worse nightmares did we suspect sexual abuse!! My daughter is a gifted, educated,professional,beautiful christian woman and this predator was able to play her. We found out that behind his good looks and charm was a predator!!! No money no education. No job!!! All lie’s!!!!!!! They are that good at what they do. They play and prey on the goodness of others!!!!!
Lynette, I’m so very sorry for all you’ve been through. You have stated truthfully so many facts that I wish people would read and grasp. This is not a joke! These predators can charm and mislead anyone — I don’t care how smart a person thinks they are, pedophiles can deceive them. They truly are masters of manipulation! I, like you, believe we need laws that are way stronger and tighter. There are so many loopholes in the laws right now that often a known predator will get a slap on the wrist and be allowed to go on his/her merry way. Meanwhile, innocent children are being harmed with a pain that lasts a lifetime. The more we speak out, the less power we give to the predator. That’s why I hope we will join together in one voice and SAY NO to child sexual molestation! Our legislators need to hear from us on a local and state level. And, not just once. We need to be pounding at their doors demanding better laws and better ways to protect our children. Thanks so much for your insightful comments!
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I was molested by my teenage brother from the time I was around 5 years old to the age of 12. It wasn’t something that happened frequently (unless I have forgotten the incidents). I never told my parents. Why? First and foremost, nothing having to do with sexuality or bodily elimination was openly spoken of at our house. It was all very secretive. And embarrassing. So, to tell what was happening would have been way too embarrassing and even scary, because somehow I knew it was wrong. Yet I never felt abused. I didn’t like what was happening, but it never changed my feelings for my brother. To me, it was just another way that he was ‘teasing’ or ‘picking on’ me, as big brothers often do to little sisters. That’s all I saw it as, until I was in my thirties or older.
As I reached my pre-teens, my grandfather also began groping/fondling. That was much more disturbing to me than what my brother did. Maybe because I was older when it started and I had a better understanding of what was happening? Nevertheless, I still didn’t tell anyone. By that age, I would have found it even more embarrassing, and I was extremely shy, so didn’t want to have anything draw attention to me. Another factor with him was that I was extremely submissive to my ‘elders’, and a very obedient child. How could I have said anything against someone in authority over me? I simply learned to stay as far away from him as possible. My feelings for him did change somewhat, because I was no longer comfortable around him, nor did I feel safe and trusting like I had felt for him before the molesting began.
I don’t remember ever being threatened or commanded not to tell. They must have both been confident that I wouldn’t say a word.
Sadly, I have also had a daughter sexually abused by a family member. I thought I was being cautious, careful, and protective. It wasn’t enough. It’s very painful to know your child has been harmed, and even more painful to realize that as protective as you were, it still happened. Knowing that these abusers are professional deceivers and liars does help lessen the guilt a little, but it’s still hard to accept the reality that I wasn’t wise enough or aware enough to keep it from happening.
Thank you for this article. I’m so sorry for the pain this father and his children have endured.
Dear Anonymous, Thank you so very much for having the courage to speak out! I’m so sorry for what you’ve endured, as well as for what your daughter has now gone through. I think you said it so well when you said “these abusers are professional deceivers and liars.” That sums it up perfectly. They really are good at what they do, and they are counting on us being too shy, too embarrassed, too shocked, too trusting — to ever speak out. I know for a fact that your comments have given courage to many!
There are no words…in his retelling, the reader can see the smooth and “obvious” progression of the steps of control.
Any of us, however, in the same situation would have the same vulnerabilities.
We are going to pray for your friend!