I’ve grown to really dislike the words “married to a pedophile” yet the hard, cold truth is that I was married to a man who molested children. I had no clue. I thought he was genuinely kind. I thought he was a follower of God. I thought that he loved children, but my way of loving children and his way of loving children were worlds apart. The man I married is in prison serving a life sentence because he violated many children many times. If you do not yet know my story, please begin here.
Sadly, my story is not unique. Almost every day I get emails telling me “if I didn’t know better I’d think this was my life you were talking about.”
That’s frightening! It’s frightening to know that pedophiles walk among us pretending to be kind, gentle, loving husbands, fathers, preachers, aunts, uncles, teachers, doctors, lawyers, nurses, and loving parents.
Pedophiles can be anyone — and most often the pedophile is the one you least suspect.
Pedophiles are liars. Pedophiles are deceivers. Pedophiles who molest children commit the most heinous of crimes.
The man I was married to and spent most of my life with was committing those heinous crimes and he would have gotten away with this evil all of his life had it not been for one young lady who was brave enough to speak out.
One person. One voice. One act of courage has saved hellish pain in the lives of many, many children, and for that I will be forever thankful!
Because one person spoke out — and was believed — the authorities were able to do their job and arrest the man I married and expose the evil actions of his heart.
Because a son of this pedophile believed the young lady who came to him and told her story of molestation by his father many, many children have been saved!
Because of the courage of just two people — a victim of abuse from the man I married and the son of the abuser — people are getting educated about how to protect our children from sexual abuse.
I am so ashamed of the fact that I was married for almost forty years to a practicing pedophile and I never knew it! I’m still blown away by the fact that this man had such mind-control over me! They say love is blind, and it is — but it shouldn’t be!
We need to be aware of the fact that even those closest to us are not always who they seem. This sure was the case in my life!
Please listen to this short video that Jimmy and I did as a means of introducing you to Church Protect — an organization formed to educate, protect, and heal.
Please help me spread word about Church Protect. Look up Church Protect on Facebook and “like” the page. Share this blog and this video with others.
And, if you haven’t done so already, subscribe to this blog so that you’ll never miss a post again.
A few weeks ago, I asked you for some questions that you’d like to see answered. I’ll be starting to answer those next week, as I continue telling this tragic story of my life and the victims who fell at the hands of the man I married.
Jimmy and I will be sharing short educational videos with you often to keep you informed as to what all is happening at Church Protect and letting you know how you can become involved.
Child abuse is among the most horrific of crimes. We see people getting arrested every day for molesting hundreds of children — many of the abusers being church leaders.
What you don’t read about is the lasting impact this type of abuse has on the children of abuse. You’re not hearing about the effects of abuse and how hard the daily struggle is to find the way back from the terrors, the nightmares, the depression, and the feelings of worthlessness that children of abuse must deal with on a daily basis.
Child abuse must stop! We must be well educated. We must learn how to be a voice for all children. We must learn how to help and support all victims of child abuse!
And, we will. Together we will grow strong. Together we will move forward. Together, with God’s help and direction, we will be a voice that will be heard around the world for our children!
Thank you! Thank you for reading. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing this blog and this video. Thank you for helping our children!
We are making a difference, and as we grow in numbers and courage we will become the mighty force we were intended to be in order to protect our children!
Love,
Clara
*Jimmy and I conduct workshops together. I do not know of another mother and son team educating others about child sexual abuse who have actually lived with the abuser. Our information is unique and real. We’ve lived this tragedy and we can share insights that you will not hear anywhere else! If you are interested in a workshop, please email me at clarahintonspeaker@gmail.com for more information.
I have read your whole story, but I still haven’t read about how your husband was finally caught. Or did I miss it? Are you going to tell about that?
Susan, Yes. Absolutely! I have lots and lots more to write about, and I will definitely tell how he got caught. I apologize for not writing something in the past several weeks. I’ve been completing a book, Child Loss: The Heartbreak and the Hope, and that took up most of my time. http://www.amazon.com/Child-Loss-Heartbreak-Clara-Hinton/dp/0692667482/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1460678677&sr=1-1&keywords=child+loss But, I will be starting back to writing weekly for this blog. There’s a lot more to this story that needs to be told!
Is the shame you feel from God or the Devil? Feeling shame only destroys, it doesn’t build up. Spend the next week reading 1 John each day. look at each statement of who Christians are in Christ. Say if that statement is true. Do it one verse at a time. True or false. One verse at a time. Let the Holy Spirit actually heal you. Give the shame to Christ. Five chapters is all it is. Shouldn’t take more than an hour per day.
Robert, I think there is something that all people need to understand. Healing is a process for most. I am in the healing process, as are many, many victims of abuse (who will become thriving survivors of abuse). The shame I feel is for “not knowing, not seeing, not understanding” that I was sharing my life with a man of such evil actions. I saturate myself in the word of God as well as in prayer, and healing is taking place. But…….for me, healing is a process. It is not an overnight miraculous healing.
I express the way “I” feel so that others can help to understand their feelings, too. I hope that makes sense. Thank you for your comments, and thank you for always being a voice for the children!
I will read 1st John, too! This is healing medicine.
Thank you so much for educating the public on this important topic that affects many in this fallen world . Your passion has been birthed out of pain, sorrow, and love protecting the least among us . Over the last five years , main stream media and blogs have begun to put faces on pedophlies and pushing to accept those who have sexual desires toward children and not label those as monsters. The studies and effects on those who have been abused just do not support that line of twisted thinking . You have consistently brought to light the maniuplication , grooming and deceitful true character of a pedophile . I just listen to the video promoting church safe inc. as one who has spent her adult life teaching and caring for children thank you from the bottom of my heart . One observation that you and your son might want to consider changing on the video is the comment “if someone comes to you and suspects abuse contact us ” instead one should contact law inforcement right away . Again thank you thank you thank you and may our Lord bless your important ministry .
Mary Ann,
Thank you so very much for your insight and for your thoughts! You’re so very right that mainstream media and blogs are definitely giving a big push to accept those who not only have sexual desire towards children, but those who actually act on those desires. There has been a movement for this acceptance for years and it is gaining momentum, I’m sorry to say. And, that is one reason why Jimmy and I feel the urgency to move forward with education and all facets of Church Protect.
Thanks so much for the suggesting of making the change on the video to stress the importance of contacting law enforcement right away. Sadly, law enforcement is often not trained in this area, they are overworked, short staffed, and many, many times issues of child sexual abuse are put on the back burner due to lack of “hard evidence” that can be brought immediately to law enforcement. One more reason for the help of Church Protect.
Again, thank you for your comments and for your ongoing support.