Hi! My name is Clara and I’m a writer and speaker.
I’m also a mom of eleven kids who are all grown up, and now I’m getting to enjoy eighteen awsome grandkids!
Growing up on a farm taught me to enjoy nature and simple living. Home canning and gardening are passions of mine. And, I’m game to try a new recipe any time especially if it has “Italian” in the title! Sure, you can send me your Italian recipes and I promise to share my “special ingredient meatball recipe” with you.
Oh, did I mention I love chocoate, too?
The mountains of Pennsylvania have been my home for the past forty years, but my heart is bound to the ocean. My dream is to spend half a year oceanside, and half a year countryside. And, I know that dreams really do come true!
I blog about life and resiliency. Everybody has some major obstacle to overcome and I hope to inspire you to overcome yours!
My most recent challenge has been learning how to find peace and joy after finding out I didn’t know the man I loved and was married to for almost forty years. Unknown to me, he was a practicing pedophile since the age of fourteen and is now serving a thirty-year sentence in prison.
My healing is coming from being a voice for abused children and adults.
Love,
Clara
I also just read that you are in Pennsylvania! I am too. I was in Colorado when this all happened, but moved to PA four years later. I am on the eastern side.
Clara! I just want to say that when I was reading your posts, it felt like I had written it myself. I won’t go into great detail, but suffice to say, I found out my daughter had been abused by her father after 10 years of marriage. I too KNEW something just wasn’t right. I honestly just thought he was cheating on me. (he was doing that too). There were only 2 clues from my daughter (she was 5) and when she said what she did, my husband told me he’d talk to her and then told be a story about where what she had said came from. When you love someone, it just doesn’t cross your mind. I too couldn’t figure why God wasn’t blessing our family when we were trying to serve him. I too thought it was something I was doing. I now know that God could not bless us when he was doing so much wrong. And as devastated as I was, when he was gone, I had a sense of relief! For me. That of course does not apply to my beautiful daughter. I can not and will not forgive his actions. I believe God understands that there are just some things that we can not get over. After all, do we think that God will forgive those who put his own son to death? That is between God and those people. His forgiveness is between my ex and him. I am not living with the anger anymore, but I just can’t forgive his actions. After all, I discovered so much after that he hid for me. If he’d taken action to get help and even if his parents had taken action instead of sweeping it all under the carpet when he was young, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe it would have. But I bear no guilt for his actions. Any way, in a huge Law & Order way, he was arrested and sentenced to 24 years in jail. Of course he will be up for parole after just under 10 years. Anyway, thank you for sharing your experience. I will be sharing more of mine and will let you know when and how I do it. I’d like to be able to reach out to you at a later time if possible.
Do you know what really needs to be seen? The names of every pedophile, every rapist, every sexual predator.
My Godfather, Pastor Harry Lysgaard- New Jersey, Indiana, California. I was ages 2-6. (Him-1932-2018). I was one of hundreds, maybe thousands. The Lutheran Church just kept passing him on. He refused to admit it, even at the end, he told me I was sick. His son Mark protected him. I called his last church, they said they heard that but they weren’t worried because he was too old. My pastor even called them and they refused to listen.
Ron Jacobs, Convicted for Incest, child rape of another girl- California. I was ages 16-17 He owned a company named Doran.
Army Captain Levern T Bethea, serial rapist, South Carolina I was 18. He raped me repeatedly during my basic training. Again, I was one of many.
There were others who raped me but these are the only names I have.
On victims becoming sexually active at a young age, or promiscuous, or hyper-sexual: THIS IS NOT UNUSUAL!!! Some of us DO respond to the Trauma of being Sexually Molested or Raped in this manner. Law Enforcement MUST BE EDUCATED! Victims should NEVER be shamed for this, nor disbelieved because of it!!!
Never allow an officer who is uncompassionate and/or untrained in the art of interviewing children who have been sexually molested, to talk with your child. Demand an attorney. If you cannot remain with your child during questioning, (I was allowed so fight for it unless you are not emotionally equipped), demand to watch/listen from the next room. If you feel your child is being treated unfairly, Demand that questioning be Stopped NOW. But DO BE CALM IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILD. You are their rock, their only safe constant, suck up your own pain for now. Then be ready when the DA refuses to press charges; they won’t fight what they can’t win. You see, the laws never are about protecting us.
Do you know what needs to be done? Execution. These monsters cannot be rehabilitated, there is NO reason to keep them alive. Children will always be at risk and society will NEVER HEAL or have the chance to become healthy as long as long we pretend sexual predators are humans worth saving. They are NOT. Let God deal with them sooner rather than later.
Humanity is doomed because ‘Conservative Christians’ don’t treasure, cherish, and protect the children and adults right in front of them. Instead they pray to Money and those Politicians who will promise them more of it.
CPTSD is a lifetime injury, I’m old and I can attest to that. I’ve been dealing with suicidal ideation since I was 9; my first attempt was at age 12. I also have untreatable MDD. I will finish it one day, I just need the energy to get out of bed, lolz.