If you’ve been following along with my story, you know that by now John and I had been in a rocky marriage for a long time.  Actually, I take that back.  He thought it was a wonderful marriage.  I was the one who was constantly confused, upset, hurt, crying, disillusioned, and often felt like I was a bit on the crazy side.  He was a difficult man to figure out and by now I had all but quit trying!

This particular event I’m going to tell you about took place in the summer.  It was a warm, lovely Friday evening as I remember, and John had been away all week working insurance.  He was running on a super high as he had planned a weekend youth retreat for the church.  Those events always got him charged up.  He was like another person when he was around young people!  That’s when he lit up and came to life!

With me he was quiet, had nothing to say, and would literally fall asleep while I was trying to talk to him.  I honestly believed that the only reason he was married to me was to have someone to keep up with his laundry, take care of the kids, the bills, and all of the household chores, and to have a delicious home-cooked meal ready for him on those occasions when he was home.

Little by little our marriage was dying, and deep within my soul I knew it. Continue reading →