My blog entry for today is going to be brief. Sometimes digging too deep into the archives of my life is too painful. This is one of those days when I’d rather not remember it all. Yet, I feel such a need to say something that is on my heart right now to all of those who are currently in a situation of abuse that feels hopeless. And, I feel an overwhelming need to say something to all of those who have endured the tormenting agony of being sexually abused as a child.
When life feels hopeless, don’t give up. When you are frozen by fear, and crushed by the pain of not being understood, remember this…….. You are NEVER completely alone. It feels like it. And, often we are beaten down so many times that we cannot physically or mentally get up for a while. But, the spirit within you is stronger than you think. You are much stronger than you can ever imagine.
Fight back! With whatever breath you can draw within you, fight back and don’t you dare give up!
I don’t know why something as horrible as child rape, child molestation, or child abuse in any form is allowed to happen. I don’t understand how so many people can turn a blind eye and pretend it doesn’t exist. I don’t know why God allows these things to happen to beautiful, innocent children.
I don’t know why YOU have been targeted by a molester/abuser.
But, I do know this. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK! You can survive this. You can get help. You can have your voice heard. You can become strong enough to speak out and make sure this doesn’t happen to other children.
How do I know? Because every single day I get emails — many emails — from children who were brutally abused and who now are FREE! They have gotten help and they are no longer held captive by the abuser and all of the guilt, shame, and fear that once held them in bondage. They are no longer victims — they are survivors!!!
I’m speaking to you as a mother would speak to her child. Please talk to someone about your abuse. Please don’t keep silent. Please tell yourself every day how strong you are. Please pray. Please talk to God. Please take just one small step each day to break free from what is happening to you.
You can do it! You must do it! And, when you do, you are going to be the winner. You will come out of this alive and whole and free. More and more people are becoming aware of the terrible things that have been done to you, and we’re here to help you. We’re here to make sure you’re safe.
I know what it’s like to be targeted. I know what it’s like to live with a controlling, abusive person. I know what it feels like to feel trapped in what seems like a hopeless situation.
And, I also know that our spirit within is much stronger than we think.
Promise yourself to be stronger than your abuser. Don’t listen to the threats. Don’t listen to the lies. Don’t allow your body to be touched in ways that you should never be touched.
Repeat this a million times if you have to until you believe it. “I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am loved.” “I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am loved.” “I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am loved.”
Print off this picture and keep it with you at all times. Think of it as God speaking to you. Think of it as me speaking to you. Think of these words as the words that will eventually change your life and help break you free from the bondage of abuse!
Don’t just say these words — really believe them! “You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are loved.”
I know that thousands of you are reading this blog every day. Every day thousands of you are looking for hope — looking for a way out. And, you’ve come to a place of help!
This is it. These nine words will give you the power to break free. “You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are loved.”
And, because you are beautiful, worthy, and loved you will no longer be a victim, but you will be a survivor. You will be brave. You will be strong. You will have boldness and courage. You will speak out. You will pray hard for God to send you help, and He will. God will not only send you help, but He will show you how to become a voice for others who haven’t yet heard this message of hope and strength.
Every day before I go to bed I pray for you. Every morning before I get out of bed I pray for you. Every day many times throughout the day I pray for you. I pray for you to know the same healing freedom that I am beginning to experience. I pray for you to feel whole and clean and beautiful. I pray for you to find someone to love you in the right way — the pure way — the way God meant for you to be loved!
Call the National Child Abuse Hotline to get help. Call on God in prayer and He will guide you to get more help. I promise you — help is available!!!
“You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are loved.”
Believe these nine words with all of your heart!!!!
Please share this message with the world! Together we can become the voice that brings about help, hope, and healing for child sexual abuse!
Love,
Clara
*Next week I will resume with my story of recognizing the red flags of a pedophile.
Hi Clara,
While I am not the victim of child sexual abuse I have an extended family member and friend who are. Your blog is a great help to me understanding them and loving them better. I am the victim of marital abuse–verbal, physical, emotionally, and financially. I also have a sibling who is very verbally and emotionally abusive. I find many of the same dynamics in my life as you experienced in your marriage.
This post is very timely for me as my sibling wrote nasty texts to me today and yesterday. I hadn’t seen her in 4 years and only recently she seemed to want to reconcile. But like a viper she has struck out at me again. I know you understand what it is like to be attacked by many, coming at you from all angles. Your words: “When life feels hopeless, don’t give up. When you are frozen by fear, and crushed by the pain of not being understood, remember this…….. You are NEVER completely alone.” I need this now. My sibling is very much trying to crush me: name calling, threats, and accusing me left and right–whatever evil nasty thing she can think of. She teams up with my abuser-husband and relishes in all the lies he feeds her and her husband. I severed ties with her today; she is too toxic. Should have done it years ago.
Thank you for taking the time to write the blog. Thank you for providing a place where I’m understood. It really is the only place that I actually feel loved right now. Thank you for having the heart of Christ.
Ann, I’m so sorry about your sister, but…..I understand so much of what you’re saying, and I’m so glad you severed ties with her. I “allowed” both my mother and father to be so mentally abusive to me that I don’t know if I could ever find the strength within me to write about it. When my mother died, I never shed one tear. Instead, I felt I had finally been released from the hellish bondage she had inflicted on me. There were so many times that I wanted to kill her. I used to feel horrible about saying that, but the more I dig through this pain, the more I understand what an evil woman she was. She was a tormenter — she LOVED hurting people, and she targeted me as one of the people she enjoyed hurting. I do not know what it feels like to miss a mother or a father — I don’t miss either. And, I never did. Mental abuse is horrible to live with. I’m so sorry that you understand this all-too-well, also. I’m so glad that you’ve found this blog, and I pray that there will be things written that will help give you strength and courage.
Thank you. Thank you for sharing your story. For sharing yourself. And for sharing some hope. As a victim of child abuse I know how hard it can be. And I wish I had heard and believed these words a long time ago. You are amazing.
Jacki, I hope and pray with all of my heart that these words will help! YOU are the one who is amazing!!!! Truly, truly amazing!
Agreed. We all need to say and hear these words.
This is beautiful Clara. It will be printed off and spread around. You don’t always have to give painful details to be effective. I wish I had heard these nine words when I was a child. (((((HUGS)))))
Brenda, Thank you, thank you, thank you! My hope and prayer is that those who desperately need to hear these nine words will hear them and that these words will bring about some healing.
Thanks so very much for sharing!!!!