Category Archives: remembering our loved one

In Memory of Bijou, My Dog and My Best Friend!

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When visiting Brook Green Gardens in South Carolina I came across a tombstone that read, “In Memory of dear Bijou, who died at Magnolia Beach, Aged About 13 years.” The tombstone is a marker in memory of a dog, man’s best friend. This marker is large — much, much larger than many people have, and it fascinated me that so much thought and money went into this memorial for a dog.

But, wait a minute! I sat under an old oak tree and thought about this for a minute. I’ve always had a dog. In fact, my earliest memory of myself as a kid is of me with Big Red, my German Shepherd who had a fascination for chasing our mailman all through the streets of Egg Harbor City while latched onto his tan pants leg! Gosh, how I loved Red!

I also loved Blackie, Midnight, Reuben, Raphael, Laddie, Lassie, Lady, Luigi, Furry, Spike, Missy, Batler, Bella, Poochie, and now my little furry Oscar. But, I never had a marker made for any of them, and now I wish that I had at least carved out an etching in a rock to leave as an everlasting memorial for each one of them for the love that they gave to me. I knew that I could count on them for a good morning kiss, a good night kiss, and lots of fun and playful times no matter what. The weather never mattered to them — cold or hot they still loved me. My mood never altered their love for me. It didn’t make a difference if I had a dime or a dollar in my pocket. They each loved me the same. In fact, I got showered with slobbery kisses, wagging tails, and lots of attention even when I wasn’t very nice returning the same affection. Dogs have such amazing hearts. No wonder a dog has been rightly labeled as “man’s best friend”!

I’m sure that’s how it was with Bijou, too. Bijou’s owner obviously had a deep love for him, so much so that a special gravesite was prepared and a big stone marker was engraved with words to remember the life of Bijou.

Did you ever think about what you want engraved forever on your marker? Did you ever give any thought as to how you want to be remembered? “She was a funny lady who never stopped talking! She had a cackle when she laughed that sounded like a rooster ready to go to slaughter. She was good at slamming cupboard doors right off the hinges when she got that hot Italian temper flaring! She never had a gray hair ’cause she colored every hair clear up until the day she died!”

Okay, how do I really want to be remembered? Just like the owner of Bijou remembered him. She was kind. She showered me with affection. She was a true and faithful friend. She loved her family. She loved God. She loved me through the thick and thin of life. She gave food out of her cupboards even when she didn’t have it to give. And, best of all……”She died in the ‘Ville aged about a hundred years.” Gotta love Bijou’s owner….”aged about 13 years.” The years weren’t the important part. The important part was that somebody cared enough to put thought, blood, sweat, and tears into remembering Bijou. Yes, I’d be mighty happy with that…..to be remembered with fondness and kindness that is as fitting as Bijou’s!

Live with gusto! Live with laughter! Live for God! And, most of all live the way you want to be remembered! Your legacy counts! Who knows? You might even rate a tombstone in a garden surrounded by flowers and trees and everlasting love just like Bijou’s!

Love,
Clara
PS The memories we leave behind come from the memories we make today. Live like a dog, and you’ll get it right every time! They understand the unconditional love thing better than most humans!

Let Me Tell You ’bout the Birds and the Bees

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When I planted this flower in my garden, I had no idea that its name was “Bee Balm” nor did I know that aside from the obvious visual beauty of this gorgeous flower it attracts birds and bees.

Immediately, upon hearing that, I remembered the song “let me tell you ’bout the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees and a thing called love”, and then I chuckled out loud. And, then I sat and reflected about how much life has changed in the arena of the birds and the bees and the story of intimacy and sex since I was a kid.

For one thing, when I was growing up, the word “sex” was never used! Never, ever, ever did I hear that word in my home, and I only heard it in school when used in reference to “being dirty.” I can almost see today’s kids rolling their eyes at this one. I know my kids sure do give the eye roll when I talk about my days of growing up!

I honestly and truly didn’t find out about “the birds and the bees” until I was in 8th or 9th grade and the details were pretty sketchy because I had to sneak a peek in Webster’s Dictionary and the only photos I could find weren’t very graphic at all. I promise you that nobody talked about sex back then! Yes, I know that people did the birds and bees thing, but they didn’t talk about it!

I was about 16 when my mother had “the talk” with me, and it consisted of “Watch what you’re doing when you go on dates because you could end up pregnant.” YIKES! Some education, huh? I didn’t have a clue. And, there really wasn’t anybody to ask because everybody’s lips were sealed on this topic. It was something you talked about when girls got engaged, I guess. Okay, I’m sure there was some talk about it before getting engaged, but it sure wasn’t like today! We blushed, we did a silly giggle, we got embarrassed, and we definitely thought we were getting away with murder if we whispered the word “sex” when we were in a group talking as highschoolers.

My kids grew up in an entirely different era, and as a parent, I’ve watched things move from the story of “the birds and the bees” to today’s times of ads on TV for condoms, sex toys, and advertisements for websites that can introduce you to a sexual playmate. Quite a distance from the days of the “Bee Balm” plant!

Good or bad, this is the time in which we live, and I believe today’s times carry an even greater responsibility on parents to have “the talk” with their kids than ever before! And, hopefully your talk will be a little more detailed and bit more God-centered than the one my poor mom gave to me. The story of love and making love (God’s way) is beautiful and sincere and pure and perfect! And, it’s a story that every child needs to hear!

As I was checking out the old “Bee Balm” plants, I thought, “Why not? What would be so wrong with going back to the basics of explaining how God designed things to be for husbands and wives? What would be so wrong with using the example of how bees carry and deposit pollen and then the plants blossom and grow? Why not use God’s beautiful creations to explain His most wonderful design for love? Would today’s kids grasp it? Or would they make fun?”

Today’s kids would not only grasp it, but they would delight in it, I’m sure. And, they need to hear the story of love and sex as told from a godly perspective! We all love hearing the truth. We each have a place in our heart for purity and beauty. And, there’s nothing that
draws kids closer to their parents than to hear them speak about God’s plan for their lives.
Go for it! Buy a few Bee Balm plants, wait for the birds and the bees to arrive, and talk on! I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised!
Love,

Clara
PS How did I explain love, sex, and God’s design for marriage to my kids? I’m sure you’re dying to know. Okay. Okay, I confess. I didn’t do so well. I bought a book that had little naked cartoonish stick figures and gave it to them to read. I still have the book, and it will be a conversation piece for time evermore!

The Duck Tail — You Gotta Love the 50’s!

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My kids think it’s so funny when I tell them stories about “my times” of growing up. It’s definitely a hoot for me to think back to how different things were back in the day.

So, let’s talk for a minute about the duck tail hair cuts. I can remember standing on the playground of Hammonton High School in New Jersey swooning over Frankie Avalon as he would walk on by the chain-link fence and talk to us. Okay, maybe he didn’t always talk, but he did wave at us as we girls gripped the fence in hopes that Frankie would walk over and touch one of our hands. No, trust me, he never touched mine. If he had, I would never have washed my hand again!

Frankie had a duck tail which was the absolute most studly fashion statement for guys’ hair in the 5o’s. This awesome style was the dream-child of barber Joe Cirella (Italian, I’m sure) and this fashion became the craze when television and movie stars began waltzing the streets with their ducktails, also known as the Duck’s Butt, or the D.A., but we’ll keep it polite here and stick with ducktail. You can actually look at the tail of a duck and see how Barber Cirella came up with this idea!

I remember my father ranting and raving about how awful that was! He had plenty to say about the ducktails! Truth-be-known, if he hadn’t been in his 30’s at the time or had a head of kinky waves that wouldn’t comb straight, he would have strutted a duck tail, too.

What’s all this have to do with us today? I guess I just think fashion raves are just that…..they come and go like the waves of the sea, and sometimes we get so hung up on what people wear, how they style their hair, or better yet, what color they put in their hair, that often we miss out on the heart of the person.

Ducktails in the 50’s. The disco punk in the 60’s and 70’s. Long hair for guys. Short spikes for girls. Vice versa. Who cares? What really matters is what the person is made up of on the inside. The outside is nothing more than a signature fashion statement of the era in which we live. It’s been that way for time evermore, and fashion statements will continue to change like the tide until the end of time.

I’m sure you’re wondering if I had a ducktail? No way! That was for the guys. Me? Beehive all the way!

Love,

Clara

PS I sure do wish the ducktail would come back, guys! Why don’t you work on that?

Inside Every Peanut There’s a Man!

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As a kid, I can remember many hours spent finding the “Peanut Man” inside of every peanut that I opened. If you haven’t tried doing that, you should! You can see the shape of the man’s face, his top hat, his moustache, and his long beard. You can even see Mr. Peanut Man’s eyes looking right at you! And, the fun part is that no two peanut men are exactly the same!

Most of us have probably never looked for the man in the peanut, though. We dig through the bag, shell the peanuts, gobble them down, and then we’re done, often hardly even taking the time to savor the lingering taste of the peanut. (Can you tell I’m a fan of peanuts?)

Isn’t that how it is in life most of the time? In the course of a week, we come in contact with so many different people, we say a quick “hi”, and exchange of few words, then go on our way never even savoring the flavor of the individual much less taking the time to look for the man inside each person!

Life is too wonderful to allow it to pass us by unnoticed! We do it with people in general, with our friends, and many times we even do this with our close family members including our children. We just gulp down the “mundane stuff of the day” without taking time to look at the individual man inside of each flavorful peanut. We busy ourselves with the menial tasks of everyday living, and carelessly toss aside the meatier parts of life, including spending enough time with one another to really get to know the heart and what makes each of us tick.

Who are the peanuts in your life? Your co-workers? Your aunts, uncles, and cousins? Your friends at school? Your mate? Your children? Your grandchildren? Do you take the time to really see them for who they are? Do you make the time to enjoy their individuality? Do you look for the things that make them uniquely and wonderfully different? It’s FUN getting to know people, especially those close to us, on a more personal level. Everybody has something special, something unique, to add to the beauty of the day, but we must take the time to look for it!

Inside of every peanut there’s a man just waiting to be discovered! There’s a wonderful personality, a terrific brain, a flavorful side, and a uniqueness that was meant to be discovered.

Why not try something different today? Why not spend enough time with those you come in contact with to find the peanut inside the man? I have a feeling you’re going to be happily surprised at all of the neat faces you’ll find!

Love,

Clara

PS For those of you who are allergic to peanuts, keep in mind there are all kinds of other nuts in this world just waiting to be discovered!

The Bible Totin’ Kid from Nashville

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Every now and then something strikes a chord in your heart that plays a song that you’ll remember forever. That’s just how it was on my most recent trip to Nashville to visit family.

We were gathered in the livingroom saying our final goodbyes when my two-year-old grandson entered the room with all smiles. He was dressed up in his Sunday best and ready to go to church! He was happy from the inside out and you could tell. His eyes sparkled, there was dancing in his steps, and he clutched ever-so-proudly to his very own Bible! Yes, you heard me……he has his very own Bible at the age of two! Name inscribed on the Bible, too!

I captured a picture, not just because I think he is cute as all dickens, but because that was a sight precious to my heart. My son and his wife are teaching their children from little up the absolute JOY of knowing God! Going to church isn’t a drudgery. It wasn’t a sacrifice to get up early, get all dressed up in church clothes (when sunshine and a swimming pool were calling to them outside of the dining room window). It wasn’t a hardship to carry that Bible around, nor was it an embarrassment. He was proud to be going to church! He was so happy to show me his name written on the front cover of his very own Bible! He was full of joy, and for all of the right reasons! God is love! God is our Father. God is our Redeember. God is our Everything!

In this hurried world of ours, we sometimes allow “things” to get in the way of way of the meatier parts of life — those things of lasting significance. And, we often drift far, far away from what is of eternal value. We get sucked into the temporary fun stuff of life, and forget that we can have absolute fun while we’re being totally in love with our heavenly Father. Joy and God are synonymous….they are not enemies of one another.

This photo of Zach is etched in my mind and burned on my heart forever. May we always strive for that child-like love of God! May we never be ashamed of calling God our Father! May we display our Bible in our hands, hearts, and homes with the same joy of this little one who so innocently said, “Gram, look! MY Bible!”

By giving our children the words of God, we are giving them the map to an eternity spent in heaven, as well as the guide for all of life while on earth. There will be hard troubles that smash into our lives. There will undoubtedly be difficult challenges that test us to the very core of our being. But, if we cling tightly and proudly to the words found in that Bible, there will be nothing that will ever pull us away from our God, our Father, and our Saviour!

Who knows what lies in store for this little two-year-old Bible totin’ kid from Nashville! Maybe he will be the next voice that God uses to tell the world of His love. And, to think it all began with a little tan Bible in the hands of a very young boy from the hills of Tennessee!

Love,

Clara Hinton