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	Comments on: Married to a Pedophile:  &#8220;When the Pedophile Gets Out of Control&#8221;	</title>
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		<title>
		By: Clara Hinton		</title>
		<link>https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-4805</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Clara Hinton]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 18 Apr 2015 14:54:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.findingahealingplace.com/?p=1808#comment-4805</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-4799&quot;&gt;Ann&lt;/a&gt;.

Ann, The safe church policy that my son Jimmy has written addresses every one of the issues you&#039;ve stated.  Sadly, what you said is 100% accurate, and you&#039;re right --  John did fondle and molest in the very presence of others.  He is counted among the most severe of violators because of the intensity of his violations to children.  

I have a growing concern about &quot;teams of violators&quot; -- in your case, the husband and wife team.  That is something that is rarely discussed or addressed.  That, to me, is horrifying -- yet I know from my research that often members of families will choose one child to molest.  I cannot wrap my mind around how terrible that is for the child -- who can that child trust if both a mother and father are involved in the abuse?  

There is no way we can be totally certain our children are safe except to keep them in our care at all times, and as you know that&#039;s impossible.  As far as church nurseries, like I said -- I never used one.  I opted to keep my children with me all of the time.  Sometimes I simply don&#039;t have the answer and this is one of those times. Daycares, nurseries, babysitters -- I&#039;m not sure how to fool-proof those unless we have a method of screening which Jimmy and I are working on.  Thank you for your comments.  And, thank you for being a parent who is making sure to keep her children safe!]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-4799">Ann</a>.</p>
<p>Ann, The safe church policy that my son Jimmy has written addresses every one of the issues you&#8217;ve stated.  Sadly, what you said is 100% accurate, and you&#8217;re right &#8212;  John did fondle and molest in the very presence of others.  He is counted among the most severe of violators because of the intensity of his violations to children.  </p>
<p>I have a growing concern about &#8220;teams of violators&#8221; &#8212; in your case, the husband and wife team.  That is something that is rarely discussed or addressed.  That, to me, is horrifying &#8212; yet I know from my research that often members of families will choose one child to molest.  I cannot wrap my mind around how terrible that is for the child &#8212; who can that child trust if both a mother and father are involved in the abuse?  </p>
<p>There is no way we can be totally certain our children are safe except to keep them in our care at all times, and as you know that&#8217;s impossible.  As far as church nurseries, like I said &#8212; I never used one.  I opted to keep my children with me all of the time.  Sometimes I simply don&#8217;t have the answer and this is one of those times. Daycares, nurseries, babysitters &#8212; I&#8217;m not sure how to fool-proof those unless we have a method of screening which Jimmy and I are working on.  Thank you for your comments.  And, thank you for being a parent who is making sure to keep her children safe!</p>
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		<title>
		By: Ann		</title>
		<link>https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-4799</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Ann]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 18 Apr 2015 12:51:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.findingahealingplace.com/?p=1808#comment-4799</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-4789&quot;&gt;Clara Hinton&lt;/a&gt;.

My comment was to specifically address that a husband AND a wife committed the crimes.  Her presence didn&#039;t stop the abuse; she actually participated in it.  Having more than one person around means nothing.

Having a glass enclosed nursery would not deter a sexual abuser.  Parents would be engrossed in the sermon most of the time; after all they use the nursery &quot;to get a break&quot;.  Unless their eyes are watching the whole time there&#039;s plenty of opportunity for abuse especially if the perpetrator(s) are changing diapers or taking the children to the restroom.  You&#039;ve even said how your ex could have a crowd of people around and still molested children.  It&#039;s not worth the risk to the children.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-4789">Clara Hinton</a>.</p>
<p>My comment was to specifically address that a husband AND a wife committed the crimes.  Her presence didn&#8217;t stop the abuse; she actually participated in it.  Having more than one person around means nothing.</p>
<p>Having a glass enclosed nursery would not deter a sexual abuser.  Parents would be engrossed in the sermon most of the time; after all they use the nursery &#8220;to get a break&#8221;.  Unless their eyes are watching the whole time there&#8217;s plenty of opportunity for abuse especially if the perpetrator(s) are changing diapers or taking the children to the restroom.  You&#8217;ve even said how your ex could have a crowd of people around and still molested children.  It&#8217;s not worth the risk to the children.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Clara Hinton		</title>
		<link>https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-2/#comment-4791</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Clara Hinton]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Apr 2015 20:43:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.findingahealingplace.com/?p=1808#comment-4791</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-2/#comment-4784&quot;&gt;Stephanie collard&lt;/a&gt;.

Stephanie, Until we can put the truth out there for others to read and become educated, the abuse will continue.  The best thing we can do is to teach our children how to say &quot;NO&quot; to the abuser, teach our children how to know what their boundaries are, and teach children that they can come to use and tell us &quot;anything at all&quot; without fear of getting into trouble. 

Abusers/pedophiles are smart.  They are the most PERSISTENT people as far as working hard plotting and planning to molest.  It is always my heartfelt prayer that parents will read these words and make a vow to talk to their children openly and do all they can to keep their children from falling unknowingly into the clutches of abusers.  

I&#039;m so very sorry for the pain that has come into your family.  It&#039;s my prayer that healing will take place.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-2/#comment-4784">Stephanie collard</a>.</p>
<p>Stephanie, Until we can put the truth out there for others to read and become educated, the abuse will continue.  The best thing we can do is to teach our children how to say &#8220;NO&#8221; to the abuser, teach our children how to know what their boundaries are, and teach children that they can come to use and tell us &#8220;anything at all&#8221; without fear of getting into trouble. </p>
<p>Abusers/pedophiles are smart.  They are the most PERSISTENT people as far as working hard plotting and planning to molest.  It is always my heartfelt prayer that parents will read these words and make a vow to talk to their children openly and do all they can to keep their children from falling unknowingly into the clutches of abusers.  </p>
<p>I&#8217;m so very sorry for the pain that has come into your family.  It&#8217;s my prayer that healing will take place.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Clara Hinton		</title>
		<link>https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-2/#comment-4790</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Clara Hinton]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Apr 2015 20:38:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.findingahealingplace.com/?p=1808#comment-4790</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-2/#comment-4776&quot;&gt;Tinka&lt;/a&gt;.

Tinka, Thank you so very much for the love, support, and most especially for the prayers.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-2/#comment-4776">Tinka</a>.</p>
<p>Tinka, Thank you so very much for the love, support, and most especially for the prayers.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Clara Hinton		</title>
		<link>https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-4789</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Clara Hinton]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Apr 2015 20:38:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.findingahealingplace.com/?p=1808#comment-4789</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-4738&quot;&gt;Ann&lt;/a&gt;.

Ann, I&#039;m so very sorry.  :-(  Sixty percent of all reported child sexual abuse has taken place by a family member or close friend and that is a terrifying thing to think about.  I cannot imagine what must go through a child&#039;s mind as far as who they feel safe to trust when the abuse has taken place by a family member or close friend of the family.  Trust issues are major issues for those who have been abused.

I&#039;m okay with church nurseries, although I never used one myself.  I always kept my children with me.  I just think we need to be certain that our nurseries are safe -- all glass, and that there is never only one person alone with children.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://findingahealingplace.com/married-to-a-pedophile-when-the-pedophile-gets-out-of-control/comment-page-1/#comment-4738">Ann</a>.</p>
<p>Ann, I&#8217;m so very sorry.  🙁  Sixty percent of all reported child sexual abuse has taken place by a family member or close friend and that is a terrifying thing to think about.  I cannot imagine what must go through a child&#8217;s mind as far as who they feel safe to trust when the abuse has taken place by a family member or close friend of the family.  Trust issues are major issues for those who have been abused.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m okay with church nurseries, although I never used one myself.  I always kept my children with me.  I just think we need to be certain that our nurseries are safe &#8212; all glass, and that there is never only one person alone with children.</p>
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