Category Archives: Uncategorized

Married to a Pedophile: “The Email Worth Thirty Years in Prison”

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When I talk about being married almost forty years to a practicing pedophile, I say it with shame.  I say those words with horror.  I almost always have at least two very bad days of haunting dreams and lots of tears after I write a blog post.  Why?  Because there is still a part of me that agonizes over the fact that I was duped.  I didn’t know the man I was married to for almost four decades!  I grieve the fact that this man was so good at deceiving me and others that he got away with molesting children for all of those years!

If you are new to this blog, it’s important for you to begin here.  It’s hard to start in the middle of a story and grasp the full impact — especially with a story that is as complicated as this one.  As you are reading, take time to pause and allow the words to sink deep into your heart.  What you are reading is not just hard to read, but it’s hard to believe.

And pedophiles are counting on just that — making it hard for you to believe that they could ever commit such horrendous acts!        Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: “Pedophiles Are So Credible and So Charming!”

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Have you ever questioned the statistics about how many children are sexually abused?  One in five girls and one in every twenty boys have been sexually assaulted in the United States — and this statistic is only for the abuse that has been reported!  It’s a fact that due to repression  or  fear of being hated, ugly, and unloved, most children will never speak out about their childhood sexual abuse.

The facts are daunting and at times unbelievable until………..until the sexual molestation somehow becomes personal.

To be perfectly honest, I never really thought at all about children being molested.  In fact, I really didn’t have knowledge that such evil existed.  Not until my husband — the man I loved and adored for almost forty years — was arrested for child molestation!  Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: “Getting Bolder by the Day!”

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It’s difficult for me to imagine that so many others have lived a life very similar to mine!  I find solace in knowing that I’m not alone, but I also find deep heartbreak knowing that abuse is still happening.  It’s impossible for me to put into words how I feel about knowing for a fact that children continue to be sexually molested every day.  There are times when I can’t sleep at all because that thought haunts me every minute I’m alive.

If you are new to this blog, I suggest you start here.  This is quick reading, but I won’t promise you it will be easy reading.  But, if you are interested in knowing how to keep your children safe from sexual predators — most likely people who you know — then you have found the right place.

In my last post I mentioned how I was now separated from my husband.  And, when we separated he became even more of a shining star to his children, to his church, and to the community in which he was so well known.  However, as I had the opportunity to step back and really look at him, I was beginning to see more than just odd behavior.  I was seeing behavior that was bizarre and often frightening!   Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: “When Every Man is Seen as a Pedophile”

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The conversation today was actually very deep and solemn and beautiful on many levels.  We spoke of all of the pain in this world — especially the pain that comes to little children.  We talked about ways we could help take better care of the children in our community.  We were both sad that we felt as though we should be doing more, but didn’t know exactly what to do or how to do it.

And, then it happened.

I looked at the man with eyes that saw him as another pedophile and I knew I had to end the conversation.  I knew that sick feeling that was overcoming me meant I had shared far too much of “me” with a man I hardly knew.  I understood that feeling of betrayal and that complete lack of trust.  How dare this man I hardly know enter into a conversation about my heart, my deep inner feelings, and my beliefs!

I felt betrayed!  I felt physically ill.  Suddenly I didn’t like this man and I wanted Continue reading →

Married to a Pedophile: “I Will Never Divorce You!”

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The response to the video on suicide and depression was overwhelming!  If you have emailed me and I’ve not answered yet, I will get to you.  Thank you so much for your patience.  Abuse and depression and suicidal thoughts go hand in hand and that is just one more reason why we must do our part to stop child sexual abuse from happening!

If you are new to this blog, please begin here.  This is my story about being married to a practicing pedophile for almost forty years without knowing it.  This is my story about abuse and how we can recognize the red flags that something is wrong.  This is my story about how we can work together to help prevent child sexual abuse as well as adult mental and physical abuse.

By this time in our lives, John and I were separated, he had his first job as a “manny”, and he was searching day and night for a full-time live-in job taking care of children.  He was a determined man!

As he was doing this, he continued to shine in church, in the community, and with the children.  I wish I could say that John was the town drunk, or was the man who neglected his children because he was too busy to give them love or attention……   Continue reading →